How will your baby change the game?

by Moni Tang M.A. LMFT-A When you and your partner transition from couple-hood to parenthood, you may face complex changes on a variety of levels. On the individual level, each of you needs to adapt to your new role as a parent and integrate this new self-identity into your life. On a relational level, you and your partner need to learn how to maintain connection and intimacy with each other while building a new attachment with your baby. On a family level, your family structure may be gradually shifting as this new family member (your baby) joins your couple’s world. What is a family structure? A family structure is just like an organizational chart that shows the structure of the family and indicates the relationships and relative ranks (power and authority) of each family member. Through getting to know your family structure, you may be able to understand why sometimes you feel you are getting “bossed” around by your baby, why sometimes you feel that you and your partner are not on the same team, or why sometimes you feel a little too involved or left out in your family as a parent. Below are some interesting family structure variations that we often see in our therapy room, based on families from different cultural backgrounds. Which one speaks to you?