Beyond the Birth Plan: What Families Really Need to Prepare For
When I was pregnant with my first child, I did everything “right.”
I made a detailed birth “plan” with my husband-exactly how I imagined the experience would go. I read all the books. I hired a doula to help at my birth. I learned and practiced the Bradley method with my hubs.. My mom came to stay with me after the birth. I was a psychologist—I knew about mental health and had every reason to feel prepared.
And yet, I still struggled.
After a long labor, an unexpected emergency C-section, delayed milk production, a short NICU stay, and a baby who lost weight quickly, I was exhausted, emotional, and overwhelmed. I didn’t realize right away that my milk hadn’t come in; because I had never breastfed before. I blamed myself. I spiraled into stress over nursing and put a ton of pressure on myself to feed exclusively from the breast. And if it weren’t for the support system I had in place, I could’ve easily become one of the 1 in 5 parents who develop a PMAD, perinatal mood and anxiety disorder.
My story isn’t unique. It’s just not often told.
We spend so much time preparing for labor, and very little preparing for what comes after. But every postpartum season asks something new of us. Every new parent deserves a real postpartum plan.
We Don’t Just Need Birth Plans. We Need Postpartum Plans.
Too many families are left to "figure it out" in the fog of sleep deprivation and emotional overwhelm. They walk into postpartum thinking they need onesies and a sound machine, and they do. But what they really need is a roadmap for recovery, resilience, and regulation.
When people talk about postpartum plans, they usually mean who’s bringing dinner and when the next pediatrician visit is. That’s not enough. A real postpartum plan prepares for the emotional, physical, and relational labor that comes next. Who’s on the night shift? What if nursing doesn’t go well? Who’s handling laundry or grocery runs? How do we check in with each other emotionally? How do we set boundaries around visits that drain us? These aren’t extras, they’re the difference between surviving and suffering.
A baby checklist prepares you for stuff. A postpartum plan prepares you for life. Gear won’t help at 2 a.m. when you’re exhausted and arguing with your partner. A stroller won’t fix feeling unseen or unsupported. Postpartum planning is about communication, roles, and survival.
What Belongs in a Plan
A real postpartum plan covers things like:
Sleep strategies—who’s up when, how to protect rest.
Feeding decisions—breast, bottle, formula, and backup.
Meal planning—because food is medicine for recovery.
Roles and responsibilities—who does what around the house.
Boundaries with visitors—because not all ‘help’ is helpful.
Childcare for older kids—to prevent overload.
Relationship check-ins—so stress doesn’t silently build.
Mental health monitoring—how to recognize red flags early.
These are not luxuries. These are prevention strategies for mental health.
PMADs Aren’t Just About Hormones
Yes, hormones shift dramatically after birth. But the bigger story is support, sleep, and systems.
When expectations don’t match reality…
When sleep is broken for weeks on end…
When roles are unclear and partners are disconnected…
When the birth parent’s needs go unmet...
The risk for depression, anxiety, and burnout climbs, fast.
And let’s not forget: 1 in 10 partners, often dads, experience PMADs too.
This is a family systems issue. When parents feel alone, overwhelmed, or unsupported, their mental health, and the health of their relationship, suffers.
There are some myths that really hurt new families. One myth is that if you love your baby enough, everything will fall into place. But love doesn’t replace sleep or meals or someone else folding the laundry.
Another myth is that postpartum ends at six weeks. It doesn’t. The identity shift, the relationship changes, the exhaustion, they can last months or even years.
And the biggest myth? That parents should be able to ‘do it all’ alone. That belief creates shame and it's not even true.
Final Thought: Every Postpartum Season Asks Something New of Us
Birth is a beginning, but it’s not the finish line. The weeks and months that follow are full of intensity, beauty, chaos, and vulnerability.
Let’s stop pretending that healing just “happens.” Let’s offer the same care, planning, and reverence to the postpartum season as we do to birth itself.
And let’s remind every parent: you’re not failing. You’re becoming.
With the right support, you don’t just survive postpartum, you grow through it.
Want to go deeper?
I offer postpartum planning workshops and resources for midwives, OBs, doulas, and perinatal professionals, including a ready-to-use template you can give to your clients.
For expecting parents, I offer individual postpartum planning sessions and quarterly group workshops.
Let’s make postpartum planning the norm, not the exception.